Graduation is a big moment. It marks the end of hard work and the start of new journeys. This collection has over 250 funny graduation puns and jokes. They are perfect for celebrating graduates’ accomplishments. Share these jokes at parties or in graduation cards to spread laughter and cheer.
Graduating is no joke – it takes years of hard work. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun! This huge collection of over 250 graduation puns and jokes is sure to make you smile. Whether you’re looking for a laugh for your graduation or need some humor for a friend’s big day, this is the ultimate guide.
Crack-Up Your Classmates with These Graduation Puns & Jokes – Our Top Picks!
1. Why did the graduate wear a tight cap and gown? To make a good first compression after college.
2. I just graduated from Dracula University with a degree in phlebotomy. I’m officially a vein-pire.
3. What kind of mascot does an online university have? A vir-tutor.
4. Why was the math book sad at the graduate’s party? Because it had too many problems.
5. Why couldn’t the graduate take a bath on Commencement Day? Because they were too tied up in knots!
6. Why was the diploma printed on plastic? Proof that college is full of synthetic merits.
7. Did you hear about the bodybuilder who graduated? He worked his pecs off!
8. Why did the sandwich go to the graduation ceremony? To get the lunch meat.
9. Mom: “What did you learn in college?” Graduate: “Firstly, how to pro-Kristin-ate…”
10. I told my calculus book a few puns at graduation…it didn’t have the derivation to make any sense of them.
11. Why did the teddy bear say no to graduating? Because he didn’t want to endure any more classes.
12. What kind of lighting was used for the night ceremony? A lot of faux-glowhats.
13. Why did the chef go to commencement? To stir the potluck!
14. College was rough…no more studying for cer-finales!
15. Homework? What’s homework got to do with it after tassel-throwing tonight?
16. Why was the graduate’s parrot so smart? It was an avian overachiever.
17. I failed the Frisbee class but I’m getting another disc in the fall.
18. For my commencement outfit, I’m wearing a cap and faux gown.
19. The graduate kept tossing her cap in excitement and yelling “Sombrero!”
20. What do you call the valedictorian who studied constantly? Insomnia cum laude.
21. I just got a degree in Existential Philosophy. But what’s the point?
22. My graduation robe fit like a glove. Well, a non-fitted glove.
23. Why did the student get a C+ in cauliflower cultivation? He wasn’t into growing veggies.
24. Congrats to the Scrabble champion who just got his Master’s! It’s a triple-word score.
25. I asked my former English teacher for some sage writing advice after graduating. He just responded, “Oxford comma.”
26. Why couldn’t the baseball player graduate? He kept missing the pop finales.
27. Today a commencement speaker said “Stay thirsty, my friends.” It was the Valedictorian of Bud Light U.
28. I can’t believe I finally graduated! Just calculus a success story.
29. What do they serve at the commencement luncheon? A lotta gruel.
30. The philosophy major did a dissertation arguing that if a tree falls and no one’s around, tuition still isn’t refunded.
Recommended Post: 250+ Dance Puns & Jokes to Keep You Moving and Laughing!
From Caps and Gowns to Adulting in One Punchline: Graduation One-Liner Jokes
1. I just got a degree in partying. Time to major in debt repayment.
2. My diploma is just an expensive piece of paper that proves how broke I am.
3. Graduating on time? I thought that was an urban legend.
4. The tassel was worth the hassle, but now I’m in a financial hassle.
5. I stuck through four years of college to prepare for my future career of borrowing money.
6. My mom cried at my graduation. Probably because of my student loans.
7. Time to take off the cap and gown and put on the frown about loans.
8. Adulting is like graduating, except with way less pomp and unlimited circumstances.
9. I’m so broke after college, even my loans are asking me for money.
10. Graduating made me realize the only thing I’m debt-free from is motivation.
11. My diploma just showed up in the mail. My student loan bills have been arriving for years.
12. Graduating on time? I’m still waiting for a high school do-over.
13. Time to move back in with my parents and put my degree to good use.
14. In college, I mastered the art of being dead broke. So I’m well-prepared for life.
15. I’m technically an adult now that I’ve graduated. Imposter syndrome, here I come!
16. Caps off to the years of ramen noodles and homesickness.
17. Graduating with honors and zero dollars. A true scholar in the material arts.
18. Well, after all that effort, I’m finally ready to start practicing… procrastination.
19. Wearing a cap and gown doesn’t cover up the constant financial stresses.
20. Graduating is just dressing up to subscribe to more debt.
21. They hand you a diploma at graduation. At orientation, it’s just bills.
22. The only thing my parents are prouder of than me graduating is their drawer of unpaid tuition bills.
23. I just got a degree in being perpetually broke and stressed. So, same as everyone else.
24. Who needs a commencement speaker? We’re just here to commence crying about loans.
25. Today I’m a master’s graduate. Tomorrow I’ll be gratefully accepting any and all jobs.
Laugh Your Way into the Real World with These Hilarious Proverbs and Wise Sayings About Graduation
1. A capped head gathers no knowledge.
2. He who has a diploma and no job is still broke.
3. Early to bed, early to get that Master’s debt.
4. A watched loan never boils over.
5. You can lead a graduate to employment, but you can’t make them get hired.
6. A journey of 1,000 resumes begins with a single degree.
7. Little gowns trip on the big stage.
8. A tassel-ed cap is worth two in the unemployment line.
9. Enough about student loans already, let’s talk about something else.
10. Don’t put all your eggs in one career basket after graduating.
11. Where there’s a Sallie Mae bill, there’s financial dismay.
12. Don’t look a gifted diploma horse in the mouth.
13. A graduate has many well-wishers but few job offers.
14. The donned cap covers what the mind forgets about adulthood.
15. Allidas and Nikes were once baby booties before realizing their sole purpose.
16. A degree is simply a wildly overpriced piece of paper.
17. Little diplomas have smaller words, while big ones require major acronyms.
18. The student lends and the student borrows, dig out of debt another day, perhaps.
19. Insecurity is the mother of all graduates.
20. You can lead a valedictorian to the podium but you can’t make them think.
21. What do you call a bunch of struggling graduates? A fieldwork study.
22. Before you graduate, you must humbly estimate your chances.
23. All summas cum laude must one day laude less loudly.
24. You’ll never get a job by dropping out but try paying tuition by staying in.
25. If all your friends jumped off a job offer, would you accept it too?
Class of ‘Punny’ Graduates: Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns About Graduation
1. Q: What kind of music did the graduated elephants listen to? A: Trunks-n-Robes!
2. Q: Why did the ornithology student drop out before graduating? A: Because he couldn’t take any more classes about foul language.
3. Q: What did the beach say to the graduating lifeguard? A: “Bummer you have to wave goodbye.”
4. Q: Why did the hipster graduate burn his diploma? A: He wanted to major in Ash Studies.
5. Q: What kind of sword did the fencing graduate carry? A: A foiled rapier!
6. Q: Why couldn’t the clock graduate? A: It’s timeless!
7. Q: Why did the student who struggled with grammar get a diploma? A: They literally couldn’t be sentences.
8. Q: What form of transportation did the valedictorian take home? A: A scholarship!
9. Q: Why was the math book unhappy at graduation? A: Because of all its problems!
10. Q: Why did the graduate go to the ant hill? A: To collect his annual allowance!
11. Q: What did the buffalo say to the graduate? A: “Bison for great accomplishments!”
12. Q: What did the pirate movie critic think of the graduating class? A: “Arrrghing achievements, me hearties!”
13. Q: Why was the empty graduation gown so terrifying? A: It was a ghost robe!
14. Q: Where do strawberries go to college? A: Jam-son University!
15. Q: What do you call a fake noodle graduate? A: An Impasta!
16. Q: Why did the Cyclops kid drop out of school? A: He only had one pupil left!
17. Q: What music did they play at the construction workers’ graduation? A: “Move That Crane” by Sawyer!
18. Q: What did the Spanish chef say to the culinary student graduate? A: “Nacho average accomplishment!”
19. Q: Why did the scarecrow cross the graduation stage? A: He was outstanding in his field!
20. Q: Why was the obtuse angle upset at graduation? A: Because he was never the right answer!
21. Q: What did the buffalo graduate say to his herd? A: “Bison luck next year!”
22. Q: What kind of awards did the bowling graduates receive? A: Pins for commencing!
23. Q: What do graduates from accounting school crave most? A: Sum’r vacation!
24. Q: Why was the rich kid’s diploma rented? A: It was a leased piece of paper!
25. Q: Where do Mexican grads go for vacation? A: Cancan!
26. Q: What did one microwave oven say to the other on Grad Day? A: “Isn’t this amazing?”
27. Q: What animals attended the marine biology graduates’ party? A: Selachier relations!
28. Q: Why was the gardener so qualified to be the commencement speaker? A: They had a lot of experience!
29. Q: What did the cross-eyed teacher say to the graduating dyslexic student? A: “Pupil done!”
30. Q: Why was the mummy academic such a suave graduate? A: He was wrap-turous!
31. Q: Where do baby bears go to college? A: Cub Scouts University!
32. Q: What did the digital clock say to the graduate? A: “My timing is brilliant!”
33. Q: Why wasn’t the graduating computer allowed to walk? A: He had a disc inability!
Related Post: Bingo Banter: 250+ Jokes & Puns to Brighten Your Game
Throwing Captivating Humor: Dad Jokes & Puns About Graduation
1. I’m so proud of my son, the new basketball graduate. He really bounced back from some tough classes!
2. My daughter got a degree in refrigeration. I’m just so ice-cold proud of her.
3. Why did the obtuse angle go to graduation? Because he was never the right answer, but at least he was there!
4. My neighbor just got a degree in being a window fitter. They really shattered all expectations!
5. I told my dad I had graduated with a degree in liberal arts. He said, “Awesome, but just don’t go braggerty about it.”
6. Dad: “Did you graduate on time?” Me: “No but I’m a little behind the schedule.”
7. Why did the pig make a terrible graduate? He was an absolute ham when it came to giving speeches!
8. Dad: “I’m so proud you’ve graduated!” Me: “Aw thanks!” Dad: “Now you can finally move out from my basement!”
9. Why couldn’t the clock be the commencement speaker? It had no hands for the occasion!
10. My sister got a biology degree. Sadly, she had to bioengineered her own job.
11. Dad: “Son, why did you decide to major in humus?” Me: “Don’t worry, the soil reason will become fertile later.”
12. What kind of socks do proud dads wear on graduation day? Insock-sperances!
13. Why was the dad’s lawnmower joke the biggest hit at graduation? It really cut through the tension!
14. I told my dad I majored in AC repair. He replied, “Ohhhh, you got your chill-chiller!”
15. Dad: “Son, you’re the valedictorian of my heart on graduation day!”
16. Why couldn’t the dad make it to his son’s graduation on time? He tended to Starbucks crater late.
17. What did the millennial dad say when his son got an art degree? “Well, you’re generously employed at least!”
18. Hi “Hungover”, I’m Dad. Congrats on getting that booze degree!
19. I heard the dad running the campus parking got a bachelor’s in”Park’n Ticketing”!
20. Dad: “Why was the computer book sad it couldn’t go to graduation?” Because it had no PDF!
21. What do you call a dad who missed his daughter’s graduation? A Deploma-sed Papa!
22. Dad, making a pun: “You look so flyy in that cap and gown!” *groans*
23. Why couldn’t the dad get the snack bar contract for graduation? The PUN-colors didn’t hire him!
24. What kind of anniversary did the dad get for his daughter’s graduation? 0th, it’ll be mineral!
25. Dad: “I’m so proud you’re not just getting a piece of paper, but your place to par-take your future!”
Making a Gradual-tion to Double Entendres: Puns to Brighten Up Your Big Day
1. I can’t wait to graduate and get my Mrs. Degree.
2. My theatre major friend is excited to finally get her “showing diploma.”
3. I spent four years chasing the dream of getting letters after my name: B.A.
4. After graduating, I’ll be putting my physical ed to the test in the real world.
5. My friend with a biology degree is well-versed in the art of reproduction.
6. With this English lit degree, I hope to better grasp prominent dictions.
7. My political science graduate friend is ready to explore new pollings.
8. The psych major had to get over his crisis of confidence to walk that stage.
9. My cousin got a master’s in massage therapy to perfect her handy work.
10. With a dance degree, my bestie hopes to get plenty of private tutoring gigs.
11. The art graduate’s new sculpture series will really get people talking.
12. My marketing friend’s business Plan A was all about attracting clientele.
13. Can’t wait to put my mathematics background to give some real-world calculations.
14. My friend’s fashion merchandising degree should come in handy in picking updates.
15. My pre-med pal is already skilled at giving personal physicals.
16. With this diploma, my friend with a culinary degree might want to cook something up.
17. The drama grad has always been a great performer…in private.
18. My friend’s landscaping major lets her explore exciting new gardening territories.
19. My neighbor’s agriculture degree gives him expertise in the field of husbandry.
20. My cousin’s film studies degree should come in handy for up-close video shoots.
21. With this creative writing diploma, I’ll be a leading author of romantic passages.
22. The dentistry grad is ready to handle oral affairs with ease.
23. My friend’s accounting skills now give new meaning to “working the figures.”
24. With an interior design degree, my pal is a savant for arranging private spaces.
25. My cousin’s childhood education degree makes him a prime instructor on adult relations.
26. The athletic therapy grad is an expert at relieving personal tension and kinks.
27. With a degree in anatomy, her skill in exploring the human body is unmatched.
28. My poetry friend’s wordsmith skills could compose sensual rhythmic verses.
29. My friend with a gender studies degree is definitely an authority on intimate matters.
Going the Extra Mile with These ‘Graduation’ Puns – They’re ‘Recursively’ Good!
1. This graduation pun is so good, that it deserves a medal…lion.
2. Why was the graduation joke book sad? Because it had too many punch lines ending with punchlines.
3. What kind of readings did the English graduate prefer? Puns about puns, of course.
4. Did you hear about the programmer who made a pun at his graduation? It was efficiently self-referential.
5. This “graduation puns” list is like an infinite mirror, pun-turing itself in an endless paradox.
6. I would make a meta pun about graduation puns, but it would just pun itself.
7. What kind of pun did the engineering graduate’s robot make? One that created a pun singularity.
8. Why couldn’t the programmer drink his coffee at graduation? It kept evaluating “mug::mug”.
9. This graduation pun list is like an academic tongue-twister that infinitely recurses.
10. Did you hear about the cheeky graduate who made a self-referential pun? It was rather au-duh-pious!
11. Punception: A pun about graduation with a dream inside a dream inside a…pun?
12. What did the valedictorian computer science major say about self-referential puns? “I’ll REPL to that!”
13. I’d make a pun about recursive puns, but I’d rather not get trapped in an endlessampun.
14. Why was the graduate’s self-referential pun frowned upon? It caused a degree error.
15. Fundamentally speaking, these recursively self-pendant commencement wisecracks are “wonderful!”
16. Did you hear the one about the infinitely regressive pun? Never mind, it punched on itself.
17. What kind of meta pun did the literary scholar attempt at graduation? One that formed an “Inception-esque” pun-within-a-pun…
18. I made a self-referencing pun to commemorate my graduation, but it just created a semantic stack overflow.
19. This graduation pun’s so meta, it can pun about itself punning itself into oblivion!
20. Why did the computer science grad avoid meta-humor? They feared it could cause an infinite punk.
21. Made an infinitely regressive pun about my lack of graduation puns…it found itself right out of existence!
22. Why was the philosophy major’s graduation pun seen as pedantic? Because it pedantically puns itself.
23. I’d make a meta pun about making a meta pun, but that’s getting way too recursive for my punny inclinations.
24. What kind of pun did the English graduate make after being handed their degree? A “perception” one, of course!
25. This joke started as a simple recursion quip, but I fear it’s become an infinite pun-aggression.
26. Did you hear about the mathematician who couldn’t resist making a graduation meta-pun? She self-referenced the “Pundor” set!
27. Why didn’t the programmer get the graduation comedian’s infinitely nested pun? It had too many unparsed layers!
28. This recursively meta pun is so dense, that its gravitational pun field has collapsed into a single-pun-arity!
29. I made an inside pun about a pun inside a pun, but it proved too inception-al to sustain.
30. Alert! This endlessly self-referential graduation pun is rapidly approaching a state of pun-dimensional impounded stance!
Class of Comedy: Graduation Juxtaposition Jokes!
1. I just got my PhD in astrophysics. Now I’m highly educated but highly broke!
2. After getting my philosophy degree, I have no job but plenty of existential angst.
3. I studied medieval poetry for 4 years to finally be celebrated with strange hats and gowns.
4. With this theater arts diploma, I’m now qualified to ask “Do you want fries with that?”
5. Today I celebrate getting my finance masters…by donating plasma to pay rent.
6. After all this stress of earning a STEM degree, I now get to stress about my debt forever!
7. Valedictorian of my class and am currently being asked if I’d “like to go large” with my order.
8. Who would have thought this $100k English lit degree would land me a barista job?
9. With my architecture degree, I can finally start designing…my debt repayment plans.
10. They handed me a prestigious law degree in one hand and a shovel for the debt hole with the other.
11. I just earned a Master but still don’t know how to do my own taxes. Education, am I right?
12. No more staying up late studying! Just staying up worrying about being broke forever.
13. All those years mastering calculus…only to never use it while working retail.
14. I spent half a decade writing a thesis that exactly two people will read.
15. Today I celebrate being able to analyze literary devices while also being severely underemployed.
16. With my MBA, I’ve unlocked knowledge like “spend less than you earn.” Who knew?
17. Just landed my first “real” job where I’ll put my history degree to great use…doing data entry!
18. After years of schoolwork, I can now relax and do absolutely nothing with my art degree.
19. I have a master’s degree but also only own two towels and a plate.
20. I just got a prestigious degree from an Ivy League school. Cue 50 bajillion in student loans.
21. This cap and gown is my formal wear for standing outside fast food places asking for work.
22. Graduation means my knowledge ends while my Sallie Mae bill emails just begin.
23. After 16 years of schooling, I can now start pursuing my real passion…the fry station at McDonald’s!
24. Bachelor’s degree in hand, now I just need a job that doesn’t treat me like an overeducated child.
25. I’ll always cherish the moment I swapped my backpack for a briefcase full of crippling debt.
26. Finally achieved my dream of being highly educated but being paid the same as a dog walker!
27. Graduating with a polysci degree means I can finally start my career at…the gas station.
28. This cap and gown signifies four years of Googling “affordable ramen recipes.”
29. Put on this cap and gown while preparing myself for a life of saying “Do you want ketchup with that?”
30. The real joke is that I spent $200K on an education so I could get a job turning off the office Microsoft Teams notifications.
31. I went from barely being able to pay for instant noodles to barely being able to pay back thousands in loans! #success
32. With this criminology degree I can finally start…questioning whether college was worth it or not.
33. Graduation means the end of my academic career but just the humble beginning of being professionally poor.
Mixing Up Words at Graduation: Hilarious Malapropisms to Remember
1. It’s such an accolade to be valium victorian today!
2. I’m so proud to be receiving my ambassadorship in English lit.
3. This graduation semen is truly a biometric achievement.
4. I worked so hard for this prompt and circumcised ceremony.
5. It was no easy feat getting this indignant degree.
6. Graduating smoked-a-latte was my goal and I did it!
7. My calculi-bus classes were murder, but I still grasped it!
8. I’m so excited to finally be able to concur my student load debts.
9. This commencement spermatician was truly motivational.
10. Getting this diploma wasn’t isotropic, that’s for sure.
11. What an indelible day – I’ll always remember this gradual occasion.
12. It’s been a convalescent journey but I’ve finally lubricated!
O-pollen-hearty to all the other inebriated graduates!
14. This indoctrination was so full of Seminole moments.
15. I’m really looking forward to my first genealogy at the new firm.
16. Time to take this facial sombrero off and enter the real world!
17. This gladiatorial robe is so cumbrous but I love milk it.
18. That valedictory speech was truly a semaphore moment.
19. My parents are ectoplasmic and I finally completed my degree.
20. No more having to lube the alchemy every semester!
21. Who’s ready to cheese with me at the gladiatorial party?
22. Getting this diploma makes me ambidextrous with pride.
23. That commendation speakeasy was so innocuous!
24. I’m so mass-curated to have elocuted this far.
25. No more having to ponder what my matrix will be!
26. You know you’ve succeeded when they milit your tapioca!
27. This gradual cion is truly theuhpodgee of my career.
28. That was one helluva valium Victorian speech, am I right?
29. Cheers to my family for all their nonchalance and suppository!
30. I can’t wait to see what the refrigerator has in store for me.
31. Finally no more hoovering over tutoring books!
32. This dip-ma makes me wall acidic with joy!
33. What a compromising way to culverttate years of hard work!
Commencement Capers: Playful Tom Swifties to Rock Your Graduation!
1. “I finally earned my degree!” Tom said proudly.
2. “Time to don the cap and gown,” Tom remarked dressily.
3. “My tassel’s on the other side,” Tom said swingtastically.
4. “This commencement speech is droning on,” Tom yawned boringly.
5. “I just got my diploma,” Tom stated parchmentedly.
6. “No more homework!” Tom cheered relievedly.
7. “We’re Magna Cum Laude grads,” Tom boasted highly.
8. “My finals were brutal,” Tom shuddered roughly.
9. “I’m throwing my cap in the air!” Tom cried tossingly.
10. “Time for the real world,” Tom gulped worriedly.
11. “Let’s grab some graduation photos,” Tom suggested picture smilingly.
12. “These seats are so uncomfortable,” Tom squirmed shiftingly.
13. “Who’s got a job already?” Tom asked enviously.
14. “No more tuition bills!” Tom celebrated penny-pinching.
15. “This ceremony is too long,” Tom whined tediously.
16. “We’ve finally made it!” Tom rejoiced accomplishedly.
17. “Where’s the after party?” Tom inquired celebratorily.
18. “I can’t believe it’s over,” Tom sighed wistfully.
19. “My parents are so proud,” Tom beamed flatteredly.
20. “I walked across that stage!” Tom exclaimed achievementally.
21. “Time to start loan repayments,” Tom cringed indebtedly.
22. “This robe looks ridiculous,” Tom laughed foolishly.
23. “We’re graduates now!” Tom declared diplomatically.
24. “No more all-nighters!” Tom said refreshedly.
Glorious Graduation: A Collection of Clever Spoonerisms to Spice Up Your Commencement!
1. My collected cricket is Kat Cap and Mown
2. What an overly lay for a crap-happing amenity!
3. Tassel and town go, I’m molded the dipper!
4. Might as well bat a crip and mownlay town!
5. This valedarixion toapy was drooth rum lear!
6. After years of yipping and saying, I’m Danish!
7. The prodigy codgers were rowdy impounds.
8. Let’s cropper a past to the tool-wig party!
9. My chill way frob the floor is pillow complete!
10. This rine’s free for a keeper’s bay and slap!
11. Time to make a cache and split these tools!
12. From cloo-pay to dant-ray, we’ve bum a gar-lay way!
13. The patient lady was a Lipper for should cheese!
14. I’m weepy to prow the champion and classy!
15. Hut the lole on hissner and cater fattler!
16. Dare’s our valedarixion ticky to France pee-sha!
17. The hap and crowser were cloop and sancy!
18. My parents were Kic as a pun-lard with might!
19. Ree-plug, scray for the release-may day of lain!
20. Woot and frap for the raps and chordee lass!
21. Can’t wait to trade my bunk bed for a bathing pit!
22. This rademy gerty is splee at lant!
23. Hats off to our wizard profess and motors dule!
24. From callboy to swoon and flask to fass-from!
25. I ritter-pittered by dilling to my ruptured worms!
26. The bowed-camel shame these carped mooks!
27. No plee to Bray and Mur today’s asset’s creep!
28. The gantry-raffle hobby is in char-pally norn!
29. Scram on down, the fatless on the floor!
30. We’re bake and trial-ready for the warm wood!
Unleash Some Grad-ly Giggles with These Knock-Knock Jokes About Graduation!
1) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce celebrate, we’re graduating!
2) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Amal.
Amal who?
Alternative to student loans!
3) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Abbie.
Abbie who?
Abbie to find a job after graduation!
4) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Diploma.
Diploma who?
Diploma in the bank to pay tuition!
5) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita good job after getting my degree!
6) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Just in time for my commencement speech!
7) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wilma lot more bills after graduating!
8) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Awner.
Awner who?
Awner open a cold one, I’m done with finals!
9) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cashed.
Cashed who?
Cashed-strapped graduate here!
10) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ivar.
Ivar who?
Ivar capitalized on my student loans!
11) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Yerma.
Yerma who?
Yerma finally got that degree!
12) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Gail.
Gail who?
Gail needs a good job to pay these bills!
13) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Camil.
Camil who?
Camillionaire after landing a six-figure gig!
14) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Arnie.
Arnie who?
Arnie time for a career change?
15) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Moth.
Moth who?
Mom’s sewing another gown patch!
16) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Darin.
Darin who?
Darin is to look for a real job now!
17) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cher.
Cher who?
Cher makes the world go round right now!
18) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go get ’em, we’regrad-uating!
19) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Abe.
Abe who?
Abe-to have a plan after this!
20) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Fry.
Fry who?
Fry-nally done with homework!
21) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Urn.
Urn who?
Urn-ing this degree, no matter what!
22) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dough.
Dough who?
The dough is a funny way to spell “debt”!
23) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Diz.
Diz who?
Diz the last commencement, thank goodness!
24) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dun.
Dun who?
Dun walking that stage today!
25) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup with me, I’m graduating!
26) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Helen.
Helen who?
Helen-hand to pay these student loans!
27) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Scam.
Scam who?
Scam I finally get my money’s worth?!
28) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Hatch-a good reason to celebrate!
29) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Itis.
Itis who?
It’s over, no more classes! Wahoo!
30) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Kum.
Kum who?
Kum-mencement was hot but we’re done!
31) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Heme.
Heme who?
The heme-ogram shows I owe a trillion bucks!
32) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Chin.
Chin who?
Chin-ching, here’s to us graduating!
33) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe tell I just got my Master?!
34) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Sew.
Sew who?
Sew what if I still don’t have a job?
35) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Diploma.
Diploma who?
Diploma’s delicious with a side of debt!
Congrats on Graduation: Time to “Cap” It Off!
Congratulations, you made it through this massive collection of graduation puns and jokes! Whether you needed a laugh for your own big day or wanted to spread some cheer for a friend, this guide delivered. From wise-cracking one-liners to clever wordplay, these jokes covered every flavor of grad humor.
We journeyed through puns about loans, adulting struggles, ceremony mishaps and so much more. There were even ridiculous spiels like infinitely recursive meta-puns! No matter how much it costs or what the future holds, at least we can keep our sense of humor.
So toss that cap, don that gown, and walk proud knowing you have an arsenal of grad-tastic jokes ready to go. Commencement is just the first step – the real test is maintaining your wit and witticism for years to come.
Lila Ravenwoo I am really knows her stuff when it comes to puns. I have been doing it for four years now! I am super good at playing around with words to make funny and clever jokes. Whether I have writing or talking, I am always finds a way to make people laugh with her puns. Everyone who knows her thinks she’s awesome at it.
