Are you all set for a dose of laughter, comedy and plenty of chuckles? Brace yourself for a laugh, with this compilation of over 190 pun filled jokes and humorous anecdotes that are sure to put a smile on your face. From quotes that tug at your heartstrings to clever punchlines guaranteed to get your heart racing, these heartwarming puns are what you need for a good giggle.
If you’re a heart surgeon seeking a bit of humor to unwind post surgery or simply love a laugh filled cardio session this book is perfect for you. The clever wordplay and amusing heart monikers will bring joy to both children and adults thanks to their charm.
You’ll be head over heels for these romantic heart puns and comedic takes on love and relationships. With hysterical jokes for all occasions, get ready for non-stop laughs and maybe even a cardiovascular event of the hilarious kind!
Heartfelt Hilarity: Editorial Picks of Top Heart Puns
1. Why did the cardiovascular surgeon go to the bank? To cash a check for a bypass!
2. I tried doing cardio workouts to strengthen my heart, but I kept having a-fin-ity issues.
3. My girlfriend has a unique name – Venus Fly Trap-Valve Prolapse. What a heartbreaker!
4. They were a match made in medical heaven – he was a cardio-thoracic surgeon, she was a avasc-u-lovely nurse.
5. In this romantic comedy, a cardiologist and personal trainer fall in love while doing cardio together. It’s a real heart-throb!
6. Why was the clogged artery discharged from the hospital? It had a stent sentence!
7. Wanna hear a cardiovascular event joke? Ok, get ready…”Blood, blood, blood…there was blood everywhere!”
8. I entered a pun contest for heart doctors to see who could make the most grating, cringe worthy jokes. I think I’m gonna win!
9. My new nickname is the Hilarious Hypertrophic Hyper Son – how’s that for some hearty humor?
10. Did you hear about the family of infamous cardiovascular surgeons? They were a bypass gang!
11. Why couldn’t the cardiologist listen to any more heart puns? They made her disciply.
12. What kind of music came from the artificial heart valve? Metallic pop!
13. I had a heart-to-heart talk with my old pal Angie, but she had a bypass so I guess it was an aorta-to-aorta.
14. Hey kid what did the bad heart pun say to the other? “”Smiling from ear to ear!”
15. Laughter is often considered a remedy as the saying goes. But too many heart puns, and you might literally have a cardiac event!
16. My sweetheart always laughs at my silly puns. I guess you could say she’s the Apple of my Aorta.
17. Why was the hilarious heart surgeon kicked out of the operating room? The other doctors had infarct-enough!
We hope these puns got your heart pumping with mirth and laughs! Don’t go breaking our hearts – let us know if you loved them in the comments!
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Heart Throbs: One-liners Puns!
1) I took my girlfriend to a nice steakhouse for our anniversary, but she had cardiac arrest after the bill. Guess I’ll have to hunt for a new heart mate!
2) My new workout goal is to be able to do 50 cardiomyopathy squats without having a heart attack!
3) Did you hear about the funny cardiovascular surgeon? He was the life of the bypass party!
4) I signed up for boxing classes to get a ripped heart physique. Let’s just say I’m knockout gorgeous now!
5) Why couldn’t the arrhythmia pick up any dates? Because it had a dysfunctional rhythm!
6) My new comedy opens with a real heart-pounder of a scene where I rob a bank with a stent gun!
7) Doc said I need surgery, but don’t worry – it’s just a minor murmur extraction.
8) I took my love interest on a romantic hike but she had an abnormal heart rhythm climbing uphill. I should have taken her somewhere more level-ventricular.
9) Yo mama’s so unhealthy, she failed her last cardiac stress test spectacularly!
10) I asked my cardiologist why my heart rate was so high. He said, “You just make me palpitate!”
11) I bought my partner a necklace, but the chain was too tight and caused heart palpitations. Next time, I’m heaving it loose!
12) I tried flirting with the cute nurse doing my EKG, but she said my pickup lines were getting arrhythmic.
13) My last stand-up show really got people’s blood pumping from laughing so hard. Paramedics had to resuscitate three audience members!
14) Doc said my heart was the size of a pumpkin spice latte cup. Time to work on my pumpkin spice cardio!
15) I have an irrational fear of heart attacks. You could say I have angina-phobia!
Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Heart Puns!
1) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Aorta.
Aorta who?
Aorta knows the answer to this pun!
2) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Isa.
Isa who?
Isa working cardiovascular surgeon!
3) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Aaron.
Aaron who?
Aaron V-tach, I could use a pacemaker!
4) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Vaughn.
Vaughn who?
Vaughn-tricular arrhythmia after arrhythmia!
5) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Angie.
Angie who?
Angie-ography showed I need a heart cath!
6) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Fib.
Fib who?
Just got diagnosed with AFib, feeling irregular!
7) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah way I’m signing up for that cardio workout!
8) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cardie.
Cardie who?
Cardie-ologist put me on new meds!
9) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ather.
Ather who?
Ather-ectomy to treat my atherosclerosis.
10) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dil.
Dil who?
Dil-ated cardiomyopathy is no joke!
11) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby-normal heart rhythms lately.
12) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ari.
Ari who?
Ari-stole my heart with those romantic puns!
13) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Valve.
Valve who?
Valve has been waiting for a good heart pun!
14) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Groan.
Groan who?
Groan from laughing too hard at those jokes!
15) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Artie.
Artie who?
Artie-ficial heart is keeping me alive!
16) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ry.
Ry who?
Ry-sk factor for heart disease is high cholesterol!
17) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Amory.
Amory who?
Amory of that cardio-themed pun contest!
18) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Aman.
Aman who?
Aman down, someone get a cardiologist!
19) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Aman.
Aman who?
Aman after my own heart with those jokes!
20) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
Iva takes my blood thinners, doc’s orders.
21) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Aura.
Aura who?
Aura-tic aneurysm is no laughing matter!
22) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mara.
Mara who?
Mara-thon of bad puns today, my heart can’t take it!
23) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Aman.
Aman who?
Man overboard – my heart skips too many beats!
Let me know if you enjoyed these hilarious heart-themed knock knock jokes! Don’t let them skip a beat, share them with friends and family.
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Pumping Up the Fun: Question and Answer Heart Puns
1) Q: What did one blocked artery say to the other?
A: Looks like we’re having a literally heart-stopping experience!
2) Q: Why did the cardiovascular surgeon go to the bank?
A: To get a loan for balloon angioplasty!
3) Q: What did the coach say when the boxer had a heart attack mid-fight?
A: Looks like he threw in the towel and hit the canvas hard!
4) Q: Why did the personal trainer get fired after telling too many heart puns?
A: The cardio class couldn’t take it anymore pee dextrous!
5) Q: What’s the best way to stop a heart attack?
A: Call Ambulance and give CPR, of course!
6) Q: How did the romantic comedy end?
A: With the two cardiologists finally finding love!
7) Q: Why was the clogged artery sent to the principal’s office?
A: For creating too much blockage in the hallways!
8) Q: What did the doctor say to the heart patient who loved bad puns?
A: Let’s focus on fixing your heart before I have a cardiac arrest!
9) Q: Why shouldn’t you share heart puns with kids?
A: They’re too immature!
10) Q: How did the EKG machine propose to the artificial pacemaker?
A: “You’re the spark to my heart rhythms!”
Pumping Up the Laughs: Heart-Throbbing Double Entendres
1) I took a CPR class and the instructor said I had a good bedside murmur.
2) The cardiologist got an implantable cardioverter defibrillator after one too many heart-stopping puns.
3) My heart puns always get people’s tickers going and pulses racing.
4) Things got pretty cardiac between me and my date at the cath lab that night.
5) With pickup lines like these, it’s no wonder I’m having such a smooth arrhythmia.
6) Let’s take a pulse and see if you’re feeling my heart throbs tonight.
7) Warning: My puns may cause shortness of breath and palpitations.
8) Talk about hot ventricles! Your heartbeat is sizzling.
9) Baby, you’re just my Type…bypass graft material.
10) With those looks, you must be a descendant of the very first heart throb!
11) Did it hurt when you fell from those elevated heart rates?
12) Your heart’s firing on all cylinders tonight, you cardiac stud!
13) I’ve got such a crush on you, I think I’m having angina.
14) Is your name Defibrillator? Because you’re shocking!
15) Are you a blood clot? Because you’re causing an obstruction in my arterial flow.
16) Mind if I take your pulse? You just look too good tonight.
17) Don’t go getting any cardiac events over these puns.
18) How about you and I get sweaty at the cardiac rehab gym?
19) With a body like that, no wonder you’re such a heartthrob.
20) Does this pun make your heart palpitate, or is it just me?
21) Let me auscultate those chest beats for a minute…
22) I think I need to get an EKG because you’re definitely arrhythmicizing my heart.
23) Are you a cardiomyopathy? Because you’ve got a killer body!
24) We have such good heart chemistry together tonight.
25) Care to get a little cardiovascular with me later?
Be Still My Punning Heart: Recursive Puns on Heart
1) Q: Why was the heart surgery so expensive?
A: Because it cost an arm and a leg!
2) Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
3) Q: What did one wave say to the other valve?
A: Let’s keep each other in good heart rhythms.
4) Q: Why was the ECG machine in a bad mood?
A: He was feeling a little dis-rhythmic that day.
5) Q: Why couldn’t the cardiologist listen to any more heart puns?
A: They made her atrium sick!
6) Q: What did one pick up line say to the other?
A: Let’s get our heart rates up together!
7) Q: What kind of jewelry did the cardiologist buy his girlfriend?
A: A dia-stolic necklace!
8) Q: Why did the fitness instructor quit his job?
A: Too many clients were being dys-functional!
9) Q: What did the doctor say when the heart patient asked for a new pun?
A: I’ll need to check your jugular arteries first!
10) Q: Why did the exercise physiologist go to jail?
A: For running an illicit treadmill ring!
Hilarious Heartfelt Compound Puns
1) Aortic-ly Fabulous Puns
2) Arrhythmia-ving a Good Time
3) Stent-sational Laugh Lines
4) Bypass-tounding Comedy
5) Cardio-screaming with Laughter
6) Atrium-endous Knee Slappers
7) Pace-Maker of Puns
8) Cardio-hilarious One Liners
9) Defib-brilliantly Funny
10) Anti-co-atrium-gulating Humor
11) E-co-cardio-graphic Punchlines
12) My-cardio-vascular-versary Jokes
13) Cardiac-cath-eter-action Hilarity
14) Ticker-ilating Wisecracks
15) Tach-chy Humor
16) Arte-hearty Funnies
17) Vent-ric-ular Splitting Quips
18) Hyper-tense-ion Builders
Hilarious Tom Swifties: Heart Edition!
1) “I’m having palpitations,” the patient wheezed rhythmically.
2) “Sounds like you need angioplasty,” the doctor suggested catheterically.
3) “My bypass surgery went well,” the patient boasted cardiac-ly.
4) “I’m a terrific cardiothoracic surgeon,” he bragged valve-ly.
5) “My heart murmurs are gone,” she exclaimed re-pulse-ively.
6) “I have an arrhythmia,” the patient said rhythmically.
7) “Get me to the ER!” the heart attack victim pleaded stent-ly.
8) “I’m pumping iron for my heart health,” the bodybuilder grunted artery-ally.
9) “My cardio workout was intense,” the gym-goer painted heart-throbbing-ly.
10) “I need an artificial pacemaker,” the patient said defib-ly.
11) “My cholesterol is too high,” the man said plaque-idly.
12) “You’ll need open heart surgery,” the doctor prescribed cath-eter-ically.
13) “My romance movie has a heartwarming ending,” the director gushed valve-ly.
14) “Quit telling heart puns!” She demanded a-trial.
15) “I love cheesy romantic comedies,” the guy confessed ventricle-ly.
16) “We’re going into cardiac arrest!” the doctor shouted heart-stopping-ly.
17) “Get me to the cath lab, stat!” the patient blurted stent-urgently.
18) “You need to improve your cardiovascular fitness,” the trainer barked cardio-emphatically.
19) “I have an abnormal heart rhythm,” the patient stammered arrhythmia-tically.
20) “Start CPR immediately!” the paramedic instructed pulse-lessly.
Hearty Laughs: Funny Heart Name Ideas
1) Ari Terri Plaque
2) Angie O’Plassity
3) Valerie Dehyde
4) Owen Arterie
5) Vinny Trickular
6) Justin Fib
7) Holly Steric
8) A.V. Knodel
9) Cardi O’Myer
10) Penny Cillin
11) R.U. Dys-rhythmic
12) Flo Radeclamp
13) Aor Tidman
14) Mal Pralphy
15) Les Terhurtzu
16) Ella Vayshunfraked
17) Char D. Oakey
18) Beau N. Arties
Tickle Your Funny Bone with Heart Puns!
1) My cardiologist made a ton of money from angioplasty procedures. You could say he’s laughing all the way to the blood bank!
2) Did you hear about the champion boxer who had a heart attack in the ring? Looks like he finally took one cardio workout too far.
3) My new cardio workout is treadmill running with ankle weights. It’s putting a real load on my heart!
4) I took my girlfriend speed dating but she had heart palpitations from how fast it was. I guess you could say we hit a bit of a cardiac arrhythmia!
5) The comedian opened his act by saying “Have any of you awesome people ever had a hilarious cardiovascular event before? No? Well get ready!”
6) Why couldn’t the heart patient take the elevator up? It was causing too much aortic strain!
7) I heard about a new romantic comedy where two heart surgeons fall in love while performing a risky bypass procedure. Talk about surgical romance!
8) What kind of workouts do you recommend for strengthening my cardiovascular fitness? Plenty of Lunges to the Olde Gym!
9) I got kicked out of my spin class for telling too many puns. Apparently my corny humor was really bad for a lot of people’s heart rates!
10) Why did the thrill-seeker get diagnosed with arrhythmia? Too many adrenaline-pumping activities!
11) Did you hear the one about the kid born with a genetic heart defect? He came into this world with an inherited pun!
12) I took an electrocardiogram today and the cardiologist said “You need to stop telling so many puns…your heart rhythms are getting way too erratic!”
13) My new cardio routine is jumping rope while telling awfully cheesy jokes. You could say it’s getting my heart rate up in more ways than one!
14) What do you call a really ripped bodybuilder who’s also surprisingly good at telling heart puns? A cardiovascular comedian!
15) Why couldn’t the struggling comedian book any cardiology conventions? His Act One Always ended with a Defibrillator Punchline!
16) I heard about this new workout guaranteed to get you nice and sweaty – it’s called the Myocardial Infarction Method.
17) Why was the personal trainer’s memoir titled “Tales from the Chest Pain”? Because it was filled with hilarious heart-themed anecdotes!
18) Did you hear the one about the cardiovascular surgeon who kept making cringeworthy puns during every procedure? He just never misses an Opportunity!
19) This new comedy club only lets you in if you’ve had some kind of hilarious cardiac event and can prove it with documents. They call it the Myocardial Infarct-ton of Laughs!
20) I had to get my chest scanned for arrhythmia the other day, but the doctor said not to worry – it was just a case of my heart skipping a beat from laughing too hard at puns!
Tickle Your Funny Bone with Heartwarming Puns & Captions
1) My heart beats just for you…and this killer cardio workout!
2) You’re the defibrillator that keeps my heart going!
3) Nice body…no ventricular arrhythmia!
4) When I’m with you, my heart rates soar through the roof!
5) Looking for a Date…with a cardiovascular surgeon.
6) Hey doc, wanna go halfs-ies on a bypass?
7) You’re the pacemaker for my heart!
8) Forget apple watches, you’re the only heartthrob I need.
9) My heart was aBORTed by your lame puns.
10) Stop…cardiac arrest time! You’re too funny!
11) We make a great cardiovascular pair!
12) I exercise strictly for heart health reasons…like admiring fitness models.
13) Baby, you’re an ultrasound I want to hear!
14) How about we pump some iron…and then romantic comedies?
15) Are you a hit rom-com? Cause you’re making my heart flutter!
16) I choo-choo-choose you to be my myocar-di-al mate!
17) You’re simply a-valve and beyond the rest!
18) Looks like someone’s caught a bad case of heart-throbs!
19) Babe-y, you’re the ventricle to my heart.
20) My heart was aDORTed by your hilarious puns!
21) Can I take your BP? Cause you’re looking cute as tachycardia!
22) Are you my pacemaker? Because you’re keeping me alive!
23) We make a great pair…of subclavians!
24) You’ve pulmonic my heart strings!
25) Baby, wanna go check out my new aortic aneurysm tat?
26) Let’s catch a movie together!
27) You’re the cure for my angina pain.
28) Hey gorgeous, did you supervene from heaven?
29) Are you a dietitian? Because you’re giving me palpitations!
Little Hearts, Big Laughs: Children’s Heart Puns
1) Why did the baby corn become a cardiologist? Because he had a heart for the job!
2) What kind of music came from the artificial heart valve? Metallic pop!
3) Where do baby arteries learn to walk? In their mother’s wombs!
4) Why couldn’t the kid’s puns get into the comedy club? They were too immature!
5) What kind of heart did the little ghost want for Halloween? An artifact (artificial) heart!
6) Why was the young magician so good at cardiovascular surgery? He was a cardiac-trick kid!
7) Why was the child heart surgeon so grumpy? He had a little ventricle problem.
8) Where did the baby pacemaker go on vacation? He took a trip to the cardio-renas!
9) What did the kid say when he got caught eating too many candy hearts? “I’ve replen-dished my heart stores!”
10) What game did the kid aorta play after surgery? Operation!
11) Why was the little boy pumped about Valentine’s Day? He got to open his box of Cardiac Arresting cards!
12) Why couldn’t the kid watch the boxing match? Too many aortic events!
13) What gets chanted at every child’s basketball game? Z-Puns! Stat-Puns! Cardiac Kids!
14) Why did the kid leave the movie theater during the romantic comedy? He had a heart-BYPASS!
15) What candy did the little heart patient want? Defibrillator Babies!
16) How did the child magician start their heart surgery? By saying “Oper-a-Start!”
17) Why was the kid cardiologist so clumsy? All those codes made him a bit dys-rhythmic!
18) Where do artery kids play? In their cardio-playgrounds!
19) Why don’t infant zombies like heart murmurs? There’s no long-term benefit!
20) What kind of valentine did the kid give his sweetheart? A very valve-entine!
21) Why did the baby aorta quit boxing class? It was too many heart-hitting workouts!
22) How did the baby cardiologist become a comedian? From years of practicing diaSTOLES!
Final Thoughts
What better way to stay heart healthy than by laughing your way through this side-splitting pun collection? With gut-busting jokes about cardiologists, cardiovascular surgeons, romantic relationships and heart-pumping workouts, you’ll be in stitches from beginning to end.
Whether you’re a kid looking for family-friendly puns or an adult who appreciates some witty wordplay, this book delivers hearty laughs galore. The punderful mix of heart throbs, dad jokes, and hysterical scenarios will have you giggling until your cheeks hurt. Don’t miss out – grab this hilarious volume for non-stop pun-demonium.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this book appropriate for kids?
Yes, while some puns have a bit of adult humor, the majority of jokes in this collection are family-friendly and great for children. There are plenty of cute, kid-focused heart puns that will have the whole family laughing.
Will these puns be too medical/science for the average person?
Not at all! The heart/medical references are very light and punny. You don’t need any special medical knowledge to appreciate these witty jokes. They poke fun at common medical terms and scenarios in a hilarious, accessible way.
Are the puns just one-liners or are there longer jokes too?
This book contains a great mix of both! You’ll find plenty of quick-hitting, groan-worthy one-liners as well as longer jokes, humorous scenarios, funny names, and pun-filled stories to enjoy.
What if I don’t find puns that funny normally?
Don’t worry even those who don’t typically love puns will find themselves cracking up at the ridiculous, over-the-top humor in these jokes. The writers really went all out making them as hilarious and guffaw-inducing as possible.
Lila Ravenwoo I am really knows her stuff when it comes to puns. I have been doing it for four years now! I am super good at playing around with words to make funny and clever jokes. Whether I have writing or talking, I am always finds a way to make people laugh with her puns. Everyone who knows her thinks she’s awesome at it.
